Aspergers and me...

The Autistic Spectrum - hmmm.

So, it's a spectrum - a range. Rightly or wrongly I liken this to being fat. If I stand next to a petite person then I really must look quite podgy. However, If I stand next to a really large person, then I would look relatively slim - it is also a range. Nobody has zero percent fat, so arguably we are all on my 'fat spectrum'. The only question is - how far along it are you?

My example might be a little glib but this same logic also works for me when thinking about Aspergers, which is quite a common form of Autism - I believe that I am somewhere on that sliding scale. My symptoms are not especially extreme but I reckon I exhibit most of the typical behaviours to some extent and that I probably sit somewhere slightly left of centre.

A formal diagnosis - Well, I have spoken to a GP friend and as a result, I am confident that I have mild Aspergers Syndrome, but I would need to undergo lengthy tests to properly confirm this and to understand how far along that sliding scale I am. The thing is though, that (for myself) I really don't care whilst it is not impacting other people. It may annoy some people but so can a thousand things - and now that I am fairly confident that I have AS, I can do a lot more to manage it. It is a widely held viewpoint, that folk with AS make excellent employees - in roles which exploit their characters. 

It is certainly handy to finally be able to put a label on behaviour which I have always realised was "a bit odd". A couple of years back I was reading about Aspergers Syndrome and asked my wife, whether she thought I might be 'A bit Aspergers' and without an instant of hesitation she laughed and said "Well of course you are Hun - but I have always known that".

So, what symptoms do I share with 'A typical Aspergers sufferer' (if there is such a person)?

1. They sometimes seem pedantic - well, this is certainly me and it can wind people up a little (but so can a thousand other character traits)
2. Increased ability/desire to focus on detail - again, this is 100% me. This is not always helpful and I totally accept that some folk will find it annoying. A love for detail though, is also an absolute asset in my model-making hobbies where I regularly research a complex model or contribute a technical article to a specialist magazine.
3. A capacity to persevere despite other people not sharing your opinion - again, this describes me exactly - this one can be a problem but has also been a source of absolutely huge satisfaction throughout my life when I have done things which I had previously been told were not achievable. This might even be the single best thing about Aspergers (without Aspergers I would have far less content for this website!).
4. Don't always pick up on non-verbal communication - only true up to a point
5. A need for routine - I do like routine and will write myself routines to follow when tackling a big job - it seems to help me a lot - almost a comfort blanket perhaps
6. Intense and near-obsessive interests - who me?
7. Original thinkers - I like to think so - and surely another asset. All my heroes in life have been original thinkers - Barnes Wallis, Colin Chapman, John Cooper, Alec Issigonis, Guy Martin. I would bet my life that Colin Chapman had Aspergers, and Guy Martin certainly has. I have worked in Innovation roles with some success - and again, I see a real strength in this
8. Avoids social situations - as a rule, I seriously struggle in most social situations and constantly need to make a huge effort to hide this. I don't see this one as an asset at all and I really envy those gregarious folk who effortlessly take on a social gathering
9. Prefer to be alone/to work alone - I have worked with some lovely people but I do love my own company. I have written a couple of children's books (unpublished) and the life of a reclusive Author might suit me ideally - all I lack is the talent! 
10. Seeing patterns in things - I sometimes even scare myself with this one! - I see patterns in everything - words, wall paper, number plates, posters, pictures, fabric, tree branches - you name it...
11. Worrying too much about things - this is totally me - I sometimes think way too much
12. Few friends and no real desire for friends - true up to a point - outside of my wife and daughter, I have just two really close friends (but a lot of great people who I am fond of or who I would consider to be pals) and it is true to say that almost nobody knows me very well - wider family included. Understanding about Aspergers helps me make sense of all this
13. Get upset by unexpected changes to a plan - only true up to a point - but there are elements of 'change' which I really welcome - I tend to see opportunities nowadays
14. Writes a great many lists - I must have written thousands of lists - maybe a couple every week. I have always been this way and really enjoy doing so - lists allow me to keep a little less in my head

So, I display most symptoms to some extent. These typical Aspergers symptoms are certainly not all bad - at least, I don't think they are. They certainly define who I am and I would not get rid of my Aspergers if you paid me